Steady Feet, Don't Fail Me Now
by neonnchrome1123
Summary: An overview of the movie from Max's perspective, and how his relationship with Jude grew over time. T for language and sex. Title from and story inspired by "Stop and Stare" by OneRepublic.
1. I Think I'm Moving But I Go Nowhere

Tick, tick, tick

A/N: Hope you enjoy! And reviews are appreciated if you do!

Disclaimer: Across the Universe is not mine. Nor are the characters, or even the title. It is from a song called "Stop and Stare" by OneRepublic. There is a video about Jude and Max on youtube with that song, and it inspired me.

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Max knew Jude was different when the foreigner took the time to help him pick up his books.

_Tick, tick, tick._

Max's watch rang soundly in his ears, drowning out the groans of the students he sharply ran into as he made his way across campus. His eyes searched for his intended destination, but for some reason, he couldn't see it. He couldn't concentrate on anything.

He was surprised at how quickly he was running, and decided it must be the adrenaline; not like he would consider entering a marathon because of an anxious sprint to a class.

His shoes were slippery on the pavement, and a few times he was one toe away from a mouthful of concrete. But his slippery shoes weren't all that made this run difficult. The books in his arms loved to challenge him. Just as he would gain his balance one of them would slip, threatening to fall to the ground just before he snatched it up again. His English Literature book was the most devious of them all: heavy and brand new, it's glossed cover was impossible to grip, ultimately forcing him to press it roughly to his chest.

Okay, so he couldn't concentrate on anything _important_.

Finally figuring that he should watch where he is going, Max lost his fingering and began to drop a book. Before he even realized it was happening, all of them were sprawled out across the ground, and he wished he could join them.

"Shit," he muttered. Bending over, he picked up the goddamn-piece-of-shit English Literature book, slammed it against his chest, and headed for the next one. After a few seconds, he noticed that someone was helping him, and realized he should probably use his manners.

"Thanks, man," he said. The man gripped onto his bag and held a few books with his free hand. He had a cap lying messily over his black hair, and shoes that were worn and scuffed. Max liked him.

As Max stumbled over to quickly snatch his books away, he barely caught what the polite man began to say.

"Excuse me, uh," he started, handing over the contents in his hand to Max, "you dunno where I could find, a Professor Huber, do you?" he pushed his bag further up on his shoulder and bit his lip. Max didn't give it much thought.

"Um, no such person, not that I'm aware of," he said, ready to make an exit. But before he could, that British accent caught his ear once again.

"Professor, uh, Wesley…Huber?" Max turned around, and figured since he liked this guy so much, the least he could do was offer an explanation.

"Listen, buddy, I've pissed off every professor in Princeton, and he's not one of 'em." Max smiled, and then caught sight of the quiet but slightly-scary janitor standing atop a ladder. "Oh, wait a second, there's a Wes Huber," Max let out a small chuckle. "That's him, right over there." With that he started to run again, practically hugging his books to his body.

Once he was onto the grass, Max glanced back to see the man once again. He felt a certain twinge of disappointment; it really was sad that he was surprised to see someone help him. It had not been the first time he had dropped a pile of things on campus, but it was the first time someone had helped him clean up the mess. A smile spread across his lips as he finally reached his classroom.

The incessant ticking in his ears had faded away, leaving only a soothing British accent.

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Max knew he and Jude would get along as soon as he smiled.

Breathing in the brisk night air, Max swung his golf club, aiming directly at the window across the way. As the ball flew through the air, time seemed to stand still, and all four of the boys stood on edge, waiting for the sound of broken glass.

When that shatter did come, Max was met with excitement and pride, soon transforming into unbreakable panic. He couldn't run fast enough down the stairs from the roof, imagining a dozen angry frat guys ready to strangle him as soon as they could catch up. The ledge appeared out of nowhere, and Max took a chance, jumping, landing, and crouching against the wall.

And god was he glad he took that chance.

The dark-haired, thick-accented man from earlier stared at him, questioning, and without another thought, opened the door for Max to slip in. Max briefly saw him flick his cigarette away, and seconds later, they were sprinting down a corridor.

Max had no idea where he was going, and as soon as he hesitated, the other man took the initiative. He brushed past Max quickly, pressing a hand to the blonde's stomach on accident, and leading them both to his underground room. Max sprinted in the doorway, breath coming in heaves and hands fumbling. For a moment he blamed it on chaos, and grasped at the Brit's arms, helping himself inside. He chuckled.

"Shit, I'm outta shape," he yelled, gulping down air. He looked around, a smirk still glued to his face.

The brunette stood across the room, eyeing him curiously. Max could feel something strange. Never really having felt pressed for conversation before, he was finally at a loss for words. So he clung to the facts.

"You're the guy who was looking for the janitor, right?" The other man nodded with a mumbled "yeah," and Max's stomach fluttered. Working past the lump in his throat, Max asked question after question, and to his delight, received answers, and even a few questions, in return.

"It's Jude," he said with a laugh, rubbing his fingers together. Jude tipped his head to the side as he introduced himself, and Max found an urge to follow suit, just so he could see Jude's face more clearly. The blonde extended a hand, and after a second, Jude took it.

"Max." He couldn't do anything but stare into Jude's eyes as he talked, and soon took notice that the Brit was doing the same. What really caught Max's attention was that _smile: it_ was shy and nervous, yet almost completely seductive. The way Jude's eyes lit up just as he spread his lips was enough to make Max smile, and he did. Almost a little too much.

When their conversation subsided, Max decided to take his new friend to meet the other boys. He was almost positive they wouldn't be as intrigued with Jude as he was, but he couldn't bear to be away from that smile for an entire night.

Jude's smile soon became Max's favorite part of the day.

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Max knew Jude would be more than just a friend after their first night together.

Fatigue crashed down on Max like a ton of bricks. Almost a full day of drinking and fooling around left him exhausted, unable to keep his eyes open long enough to make it home. Jude trotted next to him the whole way, their shoulders pressed together and feet clumsily stepping on each other every few yards. They were reduced to a fit of giggles when Jude's left foot got the best of Max, knocking him quickly to the ground.

The boys found the stairs to be the stairs to be their greatest challenge, but eventually, miracle of miracles; they were met with the door of their dorm.

Max moaned at the sight of the couch, content to make it his bed for the night; or rather, for the day. He dragged himself to the brown lump, and in one swift movement, spread across the cushions on his stomach. Jude trailed behind, plopping down on the floor next to him and stretching his legs under the cluttered coffee table. Max tucked his arm under his head and extended his hand to the other man. Reaching only far enough to graze Jude's own hand, Max felt his fingertips tingle. He smiled.

One by one the other guys filed in drunkenly, throwing themselves wherever they saw space, and eventually, two of them piled on top of Max. At first their weight didn't bother him; in fact, it was almost comfortable. But after a few minutes, Max struggled to receive air, and decided it would be best to move. Slowly, he slipped out from under them, landing harshly on the floor below.

"Oomph!" he groaned as his knee hit the wooden floor. Jude chuckled quietly, and Max jumped, not having realized the other man was awake.

"More comfortable down here?" Jude asked. Max nodded, his chin touching the ground softly. As Max situated himself, Jude let his body slide until he was flat on the floor. Max was surprised, and he almost gasped when Jude turned onto his side, looking him in the eye.

"What're ya doin'?" Max mumbled before he knew what he was saying. Jude smiled, and Max felt as though his face were on fire.

"Just getting comfortable," Jude said. Casually, he let his hand drift from his leg to the floor, leaving his elbow bent. He sighed, content to fall asleep in that position, and Max watched as his friend's eyelids slide shut.

Careful not to make any noise, Max pressed his palm to the ground closest to Jude and mimicked his position, lying with one arm cradling his head; he had a full view of the other man. For a few seconds he watched Jude sleep; air inflating and deflating his chest, and the slight red tint that covered his cheeks. Max noticed Jude's fingers flinch and hesitantly brought his own free hand out next to them. Throwing all caution to the wind, Max lightly hooked two fingers beneath Jude's.

"Now what're _you _doin'?" Jude murmured. Max glanced up quickly, and through his sleep cloaked eyes, could see that Jude's face had gotten even redder.

"Just gettin' comfortable." Max could hear his heart pounding in his ears. He waited for Jude to pull his hand away, turn over, or even stand up and walk out, but he stayed. Their hands rested against each other for the rest of the afternoon, fingers tangled gently.

And holding hands wasn't exactly something Max did with his friends.


	2. Do You See What I See?

Tick, tick, tick

A/N: Second part of the story! This is when the action comes in, but it also starts to get sad at this point in the story. Rated T for some language and a little sexual stuff. Thank you for reading! Enjoy and review!

Disclaimer: Across the Universe is not mine. Nor are the characters, or even the title. It is from a song called "Stop and Stare" by OneRepublic. There is a video about Jude and Max on youtube with that song, and it inspired me.

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Max knew that introducing Jude and Lucy would make things complicated.

Standing across from his old high school, Max pressed his back against the car behind him and smiled. Jude stood contently next to him, eyeing underage classman as they walked by. When did high school girls get so hot? And, more importantly, why did they decide to show more skin _after_ Max had graduated? He supposed it was just his luck.

Every once and a while Max poked the other man harshly in the shoulder, ready to point out another particularly gorgeous girl. Jude laughed in response, letting his eyes linger on Max a little bit longer each time. Eventually Max caught on and returned Jude's stare, only to hear his sister's enthusiastic voice calling his name. He had almost forgotten why they were there in the first place.

Lucy jumped into her brother's arms, squeezing him tightly around the neck. He could almost feel Jude staring; those brown eyes digging deeply into him, jealous and waiting. But Max kept his eyes in other places.

"Damn," he mumbled. Lucy broke free of their embrace and quickly whacked her brother across the chest.

"Max, you're such a perv," she giggled. Suddenly, her eyes averted from her brother to his friend. However, Jude's eyes were still set on Max, simply waiting to be acknowledged.

"This is Jude," Max told Lucy, pointing at the brunette and making his way to the driver's seat. "I invited him back for Thanksgiving," he added and saw Jude nod politely at his sister. Lucy smiled in return, and a blush flooded her cheeks, something to which Max hoped he was the only witness. As they all piled into the car, Lucy began explaining the tradition of Thanksgiving, with a few extra details, and Jude appeared enthralled. Not only was he listening, but he emitted a shy chuckle when Lucy cracked a joke, and Max felt jealousy sear through his body.

When they pulled into the driveway, Max was the first one out of his seat; he was extremely anxious to get Jude away from Lucy as quickly as possible. He decided the best tactic would be to manually pull his friend from the car, and he did just that. At first Jude looked a little surprised, but soon he accepted his fate and landed awkwardly with two feet on the ground and an arm thrown around Max's waist for balance. Max pressed Jude's back to the door of his car until their bodies were flush against one another. He raised his eyebrows with a smile.

"Tryin' to prove your sister right, are ya?" Jude said, running a finger up Max's arm.

"How's that?" Max asked, continuing to pin his friend to the car. A tiny smirk on his face, Jude leaned forward into Max's lips, until their noses were squished together. He opened his mouth.

"You are a perv," he whispered, promptly slipping out from under Max and toward the front door of the Carrigans' house. Max waited for Jude to look back and see his friend in an abandoned stupor, but his eyes faced forward until he opened the door and entered the house. Taking a deep breath, Max pounded a fist against the seat of the car and followed Jude inside.

Lucy was sitting on the couch, excitedly rambling to her mother about her plans with Daniel once he returned; including the outfit she would sport. Rolling his eyes, Max lazily waved to his mother, and she rose from the couch to give her son a tight hug. He hugged back slowly, and then watched as the chair directly in front of him spun around. Jude was comfortably seated there, and he gave Max a quick smile before turning back towards Lucy and listening to her map out her time with Daniel.

Max's stomach clenched and he buried his face into his mother's shoulder. She chuckled softly at him, but for the first time since he was little, he didn't want to let her go.

The rest of the afternoon, Max was forced to sit back and watch as Jude and Lucy became fast friends. And all Max could do was hope that Lucy wasn't the same kind of 'friend' that he was.

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Max knew that once he kissed Jude, he'd never be able to stop.

Flopping down on his new bed, which was really only a mattress, Max breathed a sigh of relief. With Jude in New York, there was no way Lucy could get to him now. He laughed at how diabolical he sounded. In no way had he intended to "fight" his sister for the other man. But on the other hand, after seeing them together, he got the idea that if he didn't, he might very well lose.

Jude shuffled into the room with a yawn. Max patted the mattress next to him, offering the other side for Jude to sleep on; after all, they had driven all night to get to the city, and sleep was probably something they were both going to need sooner rather than later. Jude smiled, but instead of joining Max, wandered into the other room. However, before Max had time to be disappointed, the other man returned, blanket in hand.

Throwing the blue comforter over Max, Jude climbed in next to him, entangling their legs together. They each turned on their side to face one another, the position in which they had been sleeping every night since their first.

Max loved to watch Jude fall asleep like this. But today, Max didn't want to watch Jude fall asleep. The blonde leaned forward into Jude's lips, pressing his palm to the side of his cheek. He waited a second for Jude to respond, and when he did, Max closed his mouth in a kiss.

Although it was their first kiss, Max was pleasantly surprised at how fucking phenomenal it felt. Jude knew exactly what he was doing, roaming his hands gently along Max's back and his tongue over Max's teeth. Fortunately, Max didn't feel too dwarfed by Jude's kissing skills, as he drew a moan from the other man when he pushed their hips harshly together. After only a few seconds, the two pulled away slowly, Jude's hand gripping the side of Max's face.

Catching his breath, Max stared into Jude's brown eyes. Leaning in for another kiss, Max felt Jude's hand hold him back lightly as Jude looked away from the other man.

"Come on man, show me how you kiss that girlfriend in Liverpool," Max teased, reaching for Jude's lips again. But this time, Jude retracted his hand from Max's neck completely and began to flip over onto his back.

"Shit, man, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to," Max rambled, his face flushed. Jude turned back to face him.

"Nah, I just don't want you to think..." Jude paused, and then tried again. "I'm not really sure what we're doing here," he finished. Max shrugged.

"Nothing, really," Max said. Opening his mouth to continue, Max found himself interrupted by the other man.

"So we can keep doing this, then, yeah?" Jude motioned between the two of them with his hand. Max pressed his lips against Jude's, moaning a loud, "mhmm" into his mouth.

Max _definitely _wanted to keep doing this.

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Max knew that he would end up heart-broken when Lucy moved to New York.

Heading for the door, Max tapped at his pocket, checking for his keys. When he didn't hear the familiar jingle, he quickly scanned the apartment. Deciding that he had probably left it in his room, he slowly wandered through the living room and through the beaded doorway. Jude was still sleeping; sprawled out on his stomach across the bed. His underwear was huddled around his hips, and his arms tucked underneath his pillow.

Temporarily abandoning his quest for keys, Max seated himself on the bed next to the other man, straightening out a piece of his crazy bed head. He took a few seconds to watch Jude sleep, until he saw eyes open cautiously against the light in the room.

"Morning," Max said, rising from the bed and rifling through pictures, unused cigarettes and clothes on top of the dresser for his keys. Rubbing his eyes, and blinking away the sleep in his eyes, Jude looked surprised that Max was already dressed and ready to head out for the day.

"Goin' somewhere?" Jude asked, clearing his throat quietly.

"Yeah, I have to pick my sister up at the train station in twenty minutes; where the _fuck _are my keys?" Jude looked around without intent, as if the keys would really be at the head of the bed or underneath his blanket. He sat up, scratching at the center of his chest.

"Don't know," he shrugged, extending his arms out to Max. "But, eh, twenty minutes gives us plenty of time." Once actually able to reach Max, Jude gripped tightly to his belt and dragged him closer, until the blonde was comfortably positioned between his legs.

"Whatever you'd like to do to me in twenty minutes won't be worth it. You know we need at least a full hour." Max smirked, attempting to break free of Jude's grasp, when he felt hands rest aggressively on his hips. He really didn't have time for this.

"Stay." Jude planted a kiss against Max's stomach. "Come to bed." His hands snaked around to Max's belt, unbuckling it without questions.

"What do you want me to do? Leave my sister at the train station?" After the words left his mouth, Max had half a mind to jump in bed with Jude. And when Jude inched Max's shirt up to kiss his stomach and run soft fingers against the edges of his hips, it was a serious possibility. But somehow, Max continued to reject Jude's advances.

"I want you to do a lot more than that," Jude said, biting his lip and running hands up Max's shirt. Lifting his arms up to rest lazily over Jude's shoulders, Max sighed. Jude was making this horribly difficult. He began to thoughtlessly run fingers through Jude's hair, wanting so badly to bend over and press their lips together.

"I have to go," Max groaned, and settled for kissing Jude on the forehead.

"That's two hours when you get home, then," Jude yelled at Max as he dragged his feet into the living room, finally spotting his keys on the table next to the door. He could say it had been wasted time, but he knew that would be a lie.

A few hours later, Lucy in tow, Max threw himself into a booth at Café Huh?, awaiting Sadie's performance. Scanning the place, he saw a few attractive girls, one of whom was eyeing him back suggestively. He looked past her, not particularly interested. Spotting Jude in the corner of the café, Max stood up hastily, mumbling nonsense at Lucy when she asked where he was heading. Once he did reach Jude, he gently ran a hand over the other man's back, rubbing in a circle directly above his waist. Jude turned around, smiling when he discovered Max was the one giving the backrub. Bringing a hand to Max's neck, Jude placed his beer on the bar next to him, leaning against the wall. Max was fully prepared for an invitation to fuck him in the bathroom across the way, but instead, Jude stiffened completely. Stepping forward to close the gap between himself and Jude, Max was met with a palm to the shoulder, pushing him lightly away.

At first, Max thought that Jude was teasing him, and pressed back with fervor, slamming him into the wall.

"Fuck, Max," Jude exclaimed, grabbing his beer and walking briskly past him. Blinking a few times, Max turned to face the table, remembering that he had abandoned his sister for Jude. Just when he caught sight of his sister's bright blonde head of hair, he realized that Jude had seated himself directly across from her. It hit him like a ton of bricks: Jude hadn't wanted to kiss him because Lucy would see.

Max didn't really care if Jude wanted to flirt with some girls at the café, and not going home with someone who returned the gesture would just be plain stupid. But Max had hoped that Jude would keep away from Lucy. If not because her boyfriend had just died, then because the Brit had just bedded her brother. If that wasn't reason to keep away from someone, he didn't know what was.

Defeated, Max headed back to the table. On his way, he decided to bring his own acquaintance to the table, and he sloppily invited the girl who had previously been eyeing him. She accepted, though he half suspected she was almost completely hammered, and they spent the rest of the night groping, kissing, drinking and smoking in front of Jude and Lucy.

Max had never felt shittier about getting laid than he did that night.


	3. Every Glance Is Killing Me

Max knew that he would never get the image of Jude and Lucy in bed together out of his head.

A robe wrapped tightly around his waist, Max blinked a few times before he fully realized what he was seeing. His heart sank in his chest, just to see how goddamn _comfortable_ they both looked like that. For possibly the first time since Daniel had died, Lucy seemed happy. And that source of happiness was the man now modestly wrapped around her in bed.

Max took in a breath, fidgeting his fingers and feeling a slight twinge in his lip.

"So," he started, pushing words past the giant lump in his throat, "that's the way it is," he finished, nodding to show nonchalance. Jude and Lucy awoke when his words hit them, and they shifted against each other with small chuckles. Max bit the inside of his mouth to keep from saying something he'd definitely regret later. Pausing for a split second, Jude answered him.

"Yeah. That's the way it is," he mumbled tiredly, leaning his arm back from Lucy. Max couldn't look at this anymore. It wasn't supposed to hurt this much. He knew that Lucy was coming to stay with them for a little while; hell, he was even excited to live with his little sister again. And he certainly expected Jude to get into her pants as soon as he could, but he didn't expect it would hit him this hard when it happened. Jude wasn't his, after all, he had slept with plenty of chicks over the course of their time in the city and Jude didn't seem to mind in the slightest. But seeing Jude lying in bed, beaming and flushed from the night before, sent shock waves through him.

"Well, speaking as a brother, I think she could do better." Fuck holding back, Max thought. Jude opened his mouth in what Max secretly hoped was pain or sorrow or regret, but assumed was probably just a laugh. As he began to walk to the bathroom, Max remembered that he actually had an agenda for today, no matter how unfavorable it was. "Yeah, well, as blissful as you two are in the...throws of young love," Max said with a snarl, "I'm just letting you know I've got a date with Uncle Sam," he finished, disappearing into the bathroom.

Changing his clothes slowly, Max didn't bother looking in the mirror. If the army was going to force him to some sort of _induction _ceremony, he wasn't going to make himself look any better than he did after waking up. Which he realized wasn't that horrible after giving into his reflection for a quick second. Twenty minutes later he dragged himself into the bedroom again, tempted to close his eyes to avoid yet another uncomfortable situation. Luckily, he didn't have to, as Lucy and Jude had decided to rise early and make themselves breakfast. This didn't exactly please him, either.

Max headed out the door begrudgingly, the sight of Jude wrapping his arms around Lucy still imprinted in his memory.

And the thought of a year or more in Vietnam, away from everyone and everything was sitting right there next to it in his head. Max wasn't sure if this day could get any worse.

Turning the key in the lock, Max was so fucking _glad_ to be home he wanted to throw himself on his bed, pull Jude alongside him, and fall asleep to the sound of the other man's slow breathing. Sighing, he made his way to the fridge instead. Alcohol would have to be the answer to his problems.

The fridge opened with a creek, and Max swept a beer into his hand. He pried the cap off the bottle, took a giant swig, and slammed it onto the wooden table in front of him. Closing his eyes, nothing seemed to be able to comfort him. That was, until he felt a gentle arm wrap around his waist.

Jude pressed his lips against the back of Max's neck, his arms snaking around his stomach. Max couldn't help but moan quietly; no matter how mad he was at Jude, he had been aching for some sort of human touch all day long, and hoped he wouldn't have to find a girl at some bar to receive it.

"I've missed you," Jude breathed into Max's ear, burying his nose into dirty blond hair. Sighing, Max let out a small laugh.

"Oh yeah? You didn't look too upset this morning," Max said. Pulling his arms back to Max's hips, Jude flipped the other man around in one swift movement. His eyes were wide, glazed over in confusion.

"Lucy? I didn't think of you as the jealous type, mate," Jude teased. Max offered a small smile. "Come off it, Max. Once the summer's over, you'll have me all to yourself." Jude pressed their stomachs flush against one another, tipping his head forward for a kiss.

"I think you're forgetting something," Max said, leaning away from Jude's lips and pulling out the slip of paper from his pocket. "The government has me by the balls. They beat ya to it, man," Max told him, raising his eyebrows and slipping out of Jude's grip.

Crawling into a chair in the living room, Max brought his knees to his chest, cradling the beer in his hands. Jude hadn't folded yet, however, and followed right behind him, kneeling on the ground in front of the chair.

"Are you proposing?" Max asked, taking a sip of his drink, but Jude ignored his snide comment.

"I didn't think this was..." Jude started, and Max brought his legs down, setting his feet flat on the floor.

"It's not," He affirmed, and Jude pressed his palms to the other man's knees. Bending toward his mouth, Max pushed his own against it, bringing his hand up to Jude's shoulder. Dragging his fingers up to Jude's neck, Max pulled him closer until their chests were parallel, Jude's body resting between the blonde's thighs. Their tongues grazed and for a second Max tasted smoke until he was distracted by Jude's hand dipping down the front of his pants.

"I'm, uh, gonna change out of these clothes," Max mumbled, breaking their lips apart and bending his way out of the chair. "They have some sort of shitty Army feel to 'em." Picking up his beer from the floor beside him, Max practically ran into their bedroom, slipping his free hand through his hair.

Max didn't look back to see Jude kneeling on the floor, abandoned. He didn't need another bad image in his mind.


End file.
